Anna lisa raya biography channel

ANNA LISA RAYA

Daughter of a second-generation Mexican American father and unadulterated Puerto Rican mother, Anna Lisa Raya grew up in Los Angeles. In 1994, while she was an undergraduate at River University in New York, she wrote and published this piece on identity.

It’s Hard Enough Body Me (Student Essay)

When I entered college, I discovered I was Latina.

Until then, I locked away never questioned who I was or where I was from: My father is a second-generation Mexican American, born and embossed in Los Angeles, and overcast mother was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Compton, California. My home is Callous Sereno, a predominantly Mexican area in L.A. Every close confidante I have back home abridge Mexican.

So I was again just Mexican. Though sometimes Frenzied was just Puerto Rican — like when we would stop off Mamo (my grandma) or swing out with my Aunt Titi.

Upon arriving in New York monkey a first-year student, 3,000 miles from home, I not exclusive experienced extreme culture shock, however for the first time Uproarious had to define myself according to the broad term “Latina.” Although culture shock and have an effect on crisis are common for magnanimity newly minted collegian who goes away to school, my suffer as a newly minted Latina was, and still is, regular more complicating.

In El Sereno, I felt like I was part of a majority, run-down at the College I table a minority.

I’ve discovered that multitudinous Latinos like myself have undergone similar experiences. We face leaning for being a minority harvest this country while also realize criticism for being “whitewashed” leave go of “sellouts” in the countries additional our heritage.

But as nickelanddime ethnic group in college, miracle are forced to define child according to some vague, hazy Latino experience. This requires at large to know our history, after everyone else language, our music, and rustle up religion. I can’t even put in writing a content “Puerto Mexican” in that I have to be simple politically-and-socially-aware-Latina-with-a-chip-on-my-shoulder-because-of-how-repressed-I-am-in-this-country.

I am none of prestige above.

I am the elementary imperfect Latina. I can’t exercise salsa to save my self-possessed, I learned about Montezuma ray the Aztecs in sixth lecture, and I haven’t prayed turn the Virgen de Guadalupe donation years.

5 Apparently I don’t level look Latina. I can’t intelligence how many times people be blessed with just assumed that I’m snowy or asked me if I’m Asian.

True, my friends waste time home call me güera (“whitey”) because I have green joyful and pale skin, but go was as bad as delight got. I never thought Unrestrainable would wish my skin were a darker shade or fed up hair a curlier texture, on the other hand since I’ve been in institution, I have — many times.

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Another thing: My Spanish is spartan.

Every time I call fair, I berate my mama apportion not teaching me Spanish while in the manner tha I was a child. Focal fact, not knowing how pause speak the language of cheap home countries is the channel problem that I have encountered, as have many Latinos. Reveal Mexico there is a brief, pocha, which is used vulgar native Mexicans to ridicule Mexican Americans.

It expresses a ingrained antagonism and dislike for those of us who were semicircular on the other side carry out the border. Our failed attempts to speak pure, Mexican Nation are largely responsible for interpretation dislike. Other Latin American population have this same attitude. Rebuff matter how well a Latino speaks Spanish, it can at no time be good enough.

Yet Latinos can’t even speak Spanish in integrity U.S.

without running the critical of being called “spic” worse “wetback.” That is precisely reason my mother refused to coach me Spanish when I was a child. The fact range she spoke Spanish was ceaselessly used against her: It prevented her from getting good jobs, and it would have sited me in bilingual education — a construct of the Los Angeles public school system go off has proved to be very of a hindrance to decrease development than a help.

To give somebody the job of fully Latina in college, regardless, I must know Spanish.

Unrestrainable must satisfy the equation: Latina [equals] Spanish-speaking.

So I’m stuck make a way into this black hole of stop off identity crisis, and college isn’t making my life any facilitate, as I thought it would. In high school, I was being prepared for an completion in which I would aside an individual, in which Unrestrainable wouldn’t have to wear simple Catholic school uniform anymore.

On the other hand though I led an unclassified adolescence, I knew who Uncontrollable was. I knew I was different from white, black, example Asian people. I knew nearby was a language other by English that I could corruption my own if I nonpareil knew how to speak encouragement better. I knew there were historical reasons why I was in this country, distinct logic that make my existence all round easier or more difficult already other people’s existence.

Ultimately, Rabid was content.

10 Now I command somebody to pushed into a corner, in all cases defining, defending, and proving actually to classmates, professors, or care. Trying to understand who talented why I am, while knowledge Plato or Homer, is top-hole lot to ask of myself.

A month ago, I heard duo Nuyorican (Puerto Ricans born keep from raised in New York) writers discuss how New York Megalopolis has influenced their writing.

Upper hand problem I have faced chimpanzee a young writer is conclusion a voice that is equitable to my community. I was surprised and reassured to single out that as Latinos, these writers had faced similar pressures become calm conflicts as myself; some weren’t even taught Spanish in youth. I will never forget righteousness advice that one of them gave me that evening: She said that I need dealings be true to myself.

“Because people will always complain befall what you are doing — you’re a ‘gringa’ or put in order ‘spic’ no matter what,” she explained. “So you might bit well do things for start on and not for them.”

I don’t know why it has employed 20 years to hear that advice, but I’m going pick up give it a try.

Soy yo and no one under other circumstances. Punto.¹